30.12.05

IT'S ALMOST THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN FOLKS

But not quite; still where I hang my Hat it happens before the rest of most of my friends; except one smarty who lives in New Zealand; we are the best of mates and always will be. A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU. So I thought well we need a little laughter in our lives; so I have decided that I shall call this post FRIDAY"S HUMOUR. I received most of them from a friend in the USA who indeed put the idea into my head; amongst other ideas for which I am grateful even if I don't show it at times. So enjoy please I know I did. There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to Become a "great" writer. When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write Stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional Level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, and howl in pain, desperation, and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages. Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers . Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent. For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy. Great Dames for sale. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it! If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere and Chopin. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Save regularly in our bank. You'll never regret it. Man, honest. Will take anything. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere else again. Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating. Mother's helper--peasant working conditions. Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale. And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience; and finally the last one for this Friday. "What are you selling, young man," he asked. "I'm not selling anything, sir." the young man replied. "I'm the Census Taker." "A what?" the man asked. "A Census Taker. We are trying to find out how many people are in the United States." "Well," the man answered. "You're wasting your time with me, I have no idea." ____________

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